Things My Kids Say…

Okay…so all kids are funny. They say funny things…make funny faces…and do funny things. And so quickly we can forget all the moments that made us laugh so hard we cried.

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Solution? Write it all down…

T – 5 years old:

“You have to be 50 pounds to go jumby-bunching…so that means I can go jumby-bunching!”

Translation: bungie jumping

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T – 4 years old (watching The Phantom of the Opera)

“If his face wasn’t all messed up and he didn’t live in the sewer I would totally marry him.”

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M – 7 years old (overhears me telling a friend that I hate to cook)

“But Mummy…you are a great cook!”

“I am?”

“Yes…you make awesome Hamburger Helper.”

Aaaannndddd…point made.

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T – 4 years old:

(Picks up her hamburger and stops dead before taking a bite…)

(looks up at me with wide, panicked eyes…)

Mummy…is this dinosaur meat?

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T – 4 years old (getting tired of waiting at the border crossing)

“Mummy…are we at the reporter yet? The reporter to get into the Newnited States?”

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T – 3 years old:

T: Mummy…picking your nose is bad right?

Me: Yes…it’s very yucky.

T: Even when nobody is looking?

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M – 5 years old:

Me: Clean up your toys please.

M: [bursting into tears] “But I don’t want to be Cinderella!”

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M – 5 years old (random car conversation)

M: Did you know EVERYTHING is made of wood?

Me: No, not everything is.

M: (without hesitation) Well ya…not flags.

Me: Duh.

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M – 6 years old (conversation while playing Monopoly Deal)

“We picked our sports day team name…the Red Hot Chili Elmo’s! Like the band but without peppers ’cause they’re gross.”

M: “Have you seen the 3D version of the Phantom of the Opera?”

Me: “There isn’t one.”

M: “Bummer…that would be cool.”

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Took my 2yr old outside to look at the stars and when I asked her what she wanted to wish for she said “powers”. #wearescrewed

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T – 3 years old (car conversation)

T: Mama…can we go see the penguins at the Aquarium?

Me: Sure sweetie

T: Can I hug them?

Me: No.

T: But I’d take my clothes of first!

Okay then…a 3 year old’s logic at work.

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T – many, many times over the past 3 years:

[crying hysterically…tears streaming down her face]

Me: Why are you crying?

T: I don’t KNOW!!!

Me: Then you should stop.

T: okay…

And then we are all good…

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M – 2 years old

[struggling to get up on the couch while holding a book]

Finally up on the couch she sits down and lets out a loud sigh…

“Aw man…I forgot my glasses…”

She had probably seen me do the same thing hundreds of times before.

Such parrots…

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T – 2 years old

[Driving past Richmond Hospital]

T – That’s where I was borned.

Me – No honey. You were born in Vancouver.

T (incredulous) – HOW DID YOU KNOW?

Me – I was there.

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Talking 2012 Christmas Wish Lists:

Me – What do you guys want for Christmas?

M – A barbie, Toy Story 3, a playhouse, ballet shoes…

T – A rhino.

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M – 5 years old (while watching So You Think You Can Dance)

Me: I enrolled you in hip-hop lessons so you can learn to dance like them.

M: In hip-hop you have to shake your booty. I prefer contemporary.

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